A · Change · in · perspective

Woke up at noonish and got my ass up and ready for work by 3:20ish headed out the door and was at work by 3:45 even though I was supposed to start at four. Worked til 7:00 woth sean and megabitch which was so very fucking awesome because megabitch (her self proclaimed name) is so goddamn funny. Sean gave me my cheque and I was so surprised as to how much that one was. I made $192.26 in 25.75 hours. Ran to the bank (literally its like a block away from work and closes at eight) ran back to the mall and grabbed apple juice ($1.95) and headed home.

When I got home I gave derek a call because me him Jess and his girl were supposed to do something tonight. Turns out his gf had class tonight so it was just the three of us. We decided on bowling with the condition that the winner got to pick what we do next time. I paid for the first round of bowling ($18.00) and we grabbed some nachos poutine and drinks ($11.35). We ended up playing two rounds of bowling I tied with Jess for the first (82 points each) and I won the second game (something like 85 points I think Jess will correct me I'm sure) which means I get to pick what we do next time.

We grabbed some more drinks ($4.00) and some tokens ($10.00) and played around in the arcade for a bit, DDR was awesome but the metal pads suck balls compared to the plastic ones (my feet still hurt), and a crapload of other games. At least once a month we -have- to go bowling, it is far too awesome for words, but by the end Jess was feeling sick.

Hopped in the car and got home around 11:00 Derek gave us both massages because he is fucking awesome (learn how to massage hands and you will be a god) and he left at about 11:30.

I've decided that next time we go out we are walking our asses over to leskratch playing pool and shit over there then taking a cab home and passing out. Sounds like a fun night to me. Though it might have to be a short one depending on work, I've been told that I'm going to be getting a lot of hours and that I only have one guarenteed day off in the next two months and I only get that one because its an appointment with my social worker.

My feet still hurt despite the massage and I've decided that for sure one of the times we go out we will be going to the Y and going swimming and shit. I also want a stomache massage and a set of little workouts that I can do at home and at work that will help build muscle tone and burn fat.

Well I'mma read for a bit and then sign off.

Stay Safe Kiddos and Remember: Don't take candy from strangers unless they have a pretty van.

Sight:	Under your Bed!
Touch:	wheeee
Sound:	DHT - Listen To Your Heart

An ex I had hoped never to see again showed up the other day, I'm not looking foreward to seeing her around, anywhere.

I've decided I need a new webcam in addition to the new computer that our house needs, as well as the digital camera I have wanted for years. If I actually thought I would be getting gifts this year I would prehaps bother to make wishlists.

I really need to get this apartment set up and rearranged soon, it looks like a jumbled mess of furnature and clothes and... stuff. When I'm actually pulling money in there is a crapload of things I really need to buy.

I've decided to change my idea for my nanowrimo story, I'm going to go a darker rout with it.

Wheeeeee

Sight:	Under your Bed!
Touch:	amused
Sound:	Three Days Grace - Pain

I've quit smoking, as well as the telemarketing job. I've turned 19 now, and I noticed that there were few people I could truly count as friends, and this suits me just fine. I have no desire to be dependant on anyone, ever.

I broke Jessica's computer recently, I fell onto it accidently and her desk sliced my back open before I brushed against the computer, which of course prompted the computer to stop working. Which led to the most interesting decision I have made to date.

We were joking around about me going out and being a stripper (Which I would do if there were any in the city) and the topic of PSO came up. I actually found the idea to be really intreguing. Trying to find my way into the industry however is proving to be slightly difficult.

I'm doing NaNoWriMo this year, my user name is Nephrenia and I'm thinking it should be pretty fun.

Expect regular updates from me my lovlies.

Muah

Sight:	Livingroom
Touch:	bouncy
Sound:	Puddle In The Mudd - Control

Have you ever simply just lay there thinking about how things could have gone, about how they should have gone. All the little bits and peices of your life that fell through and shattered as you let them slip through your fingers. All of the oppertunites that youve missed and how never leaving in the first place could have saved your world. Close your eyes and imagine a world where nothing had gone wrong where everything had been good, and right and nothing had changed.

But then would we be the same people we are now or would the result be completley different? Would ours be a world filled with love and laughter, of small touches and gentle caresses or would it be that of pain and misery, of pills and bottles, swirling completley out of control. I wear a ring on my finger with pride I ahve found love it is mine. But -and indeed there is always a but- is that... enough?

I am not saying that the love we have found is not all encompassing and absolutley breathtakingly beautiful, simply that there are moments, simple blinks in time that make my heart tear and make me belive wholly and truly that something is missing. That there is something more out there waiting to happen, and I have to wonder if my current actions help this in any fashion.

It's confusing and it leaves my head and heart reeling but what if there is something I am missing something that is hovering right beyond my grasp. But then in that same moment it ceases to bother me. I see a smile on her face and the whole world lights aglow.

What would I be had nothing changed so many years ago? Would I have this wonderful experience behind me, would I be a high school graduate, would I... exist?

Listen as the wind blows from across the great divide
voices trapped in yearning, memories trapped in time
the night is my companion, and solitude my guide
would I spend forever here and not be satisfied?
and I would be the one
to hold you down
kiss you so hard
I'll take your breath away
and after, I'd wipe away the tears
just close your eyes dear
Through this world I've stumbled
so many times betrayed
trying to find an honest word to find
the truth enslaved
oh you speak to me in riddles
and you speak to me in rhymes
my body aches to breathe your breath
your words keep me alive
And I would be the one
to hold you down
kiss you so hard
I'll take your breath away
and after, I'd wipe away the tears
just close your eyes dear
Into this night I wander
it's morning that I dread
another day of knowing of
the path I fear to tread
oh into the sea of waking dreams
I follow without pride
nothing stands between us here
and I won't be denied
and I would be the one
to hold you down
kiss you so hard
I'll take your breath away
and after, I'd wipe away the tears
just close your eyes...

Sight:	Living Room
Touch:	contemplative
Sound:	Sarah Mclaughlin - Possession